Confession: I’ve become desensitized to Black men being shot and killed by Police in America

I never thought there would be a day where I would say, “well, we can’t jump to conclusions we don’t  know all the facts.” When the facts are recorded on camera and displayed for the world to see.

I never imagined I would imply that I am defending the very same people who have consistently shown complete and utter devalue to the humane race, the Black race.

If you’re reading this, do not expect me to impress you with my writing skills. Do not expect me to give you an inverted pyramid style mumbo-jumbo article. I am not here to impress you or meet any standard of expectation you may have of the person who is writing this.

Spare me the criticism of my transparency and willingness to admit something that most  would probably deem “shameful” to admit.

What I am here to tell you is that a very chilling psychological effect has taken over. I can imagine that I am not the only one, and it needs to be addressed.

Just recently, a man was shot and killed by police in the state of Louisiana in Baton Rouge.

I was in the gym on my college campus when I caught wind of what happened. A friend of mine text me and informed me a protest was taking place right here in my hometown of Houston, TX.

My immediate thoughts, “who did the police shoot and kill now?” But those thoughts immediately went away and I went into complete “journalist” mode. “What happened?” “Do we have all the facts?” “Was it self-defense?”

This is very rare for me. The assumption typically is because I am African-American, I would immediately be biased and choose a “side”. But I didn’t. I kept imagining if I could just get down to that protest what questions would I ask protesters?

I never made it to the protest. However, a friend of mine did and when he told me about it, I had no emotion about it or for the people involved.

When I saw the gruesome horrific video footage put out by the media of Alton Sterling gunned down by white cops, I did not blink once. I thought “this is America, it is what it is.”

How is someone who considers herself to be so passionate about equal rights, the black community, and black lives just emotionally disregard an injustice?

I’ll tell you why. Because we’ve seen the same story being played out time and time again. We’ve seen it happen with Freddy Grey, Tamir Rice, Sandra Bland, Ranika Boyd, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin and many other lives lost at situations that could have been prevented only by the cops who are responsible for these lives.

But how does one become numb or desensitized to it all? To what we clearly know is wrong. Well you first have to understand the definition of desensitization. According the websters dictionary, verb; “make (someone) less likely to feel shock or distress at scenes of cruelty, violence, or suffering by overexposure to such images”.

Notice in the definition it says to feel LESS shock or distress by OVEREXPOSURE. The media has done a great job at overexposing these images but why?  I’m not going to get all political or throw some conspiracy theorist bull-s**t on you. But I would be remiss if I didn’t say I think there maybe an agenda behind all this.

Maybe I’m not just numb to these stories now because of over-exposure. Maybe I’ve gotten myself so involved in these stories emotionally and led with emotion and less logic in the past to the point where I’ve received criticism from my peers. But how much logic does one need when all the events are captured on T.V.? It doesn’t take a rocket-scientist to dissect a clear video.

Could it be I’ve blocked myself emotionally from stories and tragedies like these to avoid commenting and saying anything to avoid receiving backlash from future employers who could be reading this now? (Possibly).

But I’ve accepted that this is the card that blacks have been dealt with in America. Protesting will only spread the word and the frustrations of the people but doing little to form action to stop the injustice against black lives.

Until people of the black community begin to mobilize and set forth some type of action instead of “kumbaya” for only a moment when a black life gets lost at the hands of paid public servants. This will continue to be the story line of our lives.

This idea of desensitization kills the urgency of black people in America, and maybe I’ve become a victim of it.

 

 

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